"My Story"
Dixie Thorp - October 8, 2000

It was a cool, fall day…October 8th, 2000. My daughter, Shannon (13) & I had gone with some friends to the store to get groceries and pumpkins for decorating. Jesse (16) had stayed home to play his new computer game. In fact, he was on the computer the rest of the afternoon & into the evening. I had been on a phone call with a friend, when a buddy of Jess’ called for him. I told Shannon to have Jess call him on the other line. My phone conversation ended, I was watching a movie, when my husband, Darrel, came busting into the room. Apparently the sheriff’s department had called…Jesse had been in an accident & we needed to hurry & get to the hospital. They had asked him if there were any other people in the car…it was dark out and they needed to know if they needed to search for anyone else. Jesse had been thrown from the car. That was all Darrel knew. We didn’t know how badly he was hurt. Darrel & I were totally in shock—extreme panic on the inside, every streetlight turned red as we approached them. Shannon was upset, scared & crying in the back seat. How could this be happening? Jesse had been so excited about the football game that next night! He was on the starting team! He was only 16…. his whole life ahead of him…there must be some mistake…. this can’t be happening…everything HAS to be ok….

When we reached the Memorial Hospital ER, we were told which room Jess was in. He was laying on his back hooked up to all these machines/tubes. What a handsome man he was turning into. As he lay there…he didn’t have a scratch on him-just a scuff on his collarbone…every hair was in place. His color was perfect. Warm to the touch. I could hear his heart beating, as I pressed my ear down to his chest. The doctor was telling us that he had never seen a case such as this ever survive. It made me furious--that he would talk like this, in the same room, at the foot of Jess’ hospital bed…. why, Jesse might hear the doctor’s words---THIS JUST CANT BE TRUE.

Jesse had driven to a friend’s house that is within 10 miles from our house to deliver a backpack that had been forgotten in the car that weekend. He was only there a few minutes—then was on his way a couple miles in to town, to drop another backpack off for another friend. He had driven a little more than a mile, when his 2 right tires veered off the shoulder. Realizing what had happened, he over corrected—shooting the car across the road, the car rolled two and a half times. Jesse wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was thrown out through the moon roof of the PT Cruiser that he was driving. He never made it to the house of the friend that had made the call earlier that evening.

The doctor was telling us that Jesse’s back had been broken, his spinal cord severed—and presently was in a coma. This has to be a horrible nightmare. Well, that was true. Word spread about Jess, and the hospital hallway was filled by morning. His buddies had stayed the night on the floor. All of us hoping and praying for a miracle to happen. At one point, while holding his hand and talking to him, he squeezed my hand, ever so gently. I got hopeful—and told the nurse! As we were talking to him, he did it once more. The doctor told the nurse it was muscles contracting---but, I don’t believe that…I think that was Jesse’s sign that he knew we were there, and he could hear us.

Everything seemed muffled, everything was in slow motion. Someone has to call and let our families know. Oh, my God, help us. “I have some bad news. Last night Jesse was in a car crash. We are at Memorial Hospital. He is in a coma, and they don’t think he will make it.”

The following morning, Jesse’s brain wasn’t responding to any tests. The machines were all that was keeping him alive. They now were asking us about organ donation. NO!!! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!!! Sunday morning we woke a healthy, happy family of four. Monday morning, we were forced into realizing that we would never again look into those compassionate, trusting brown eyes…never again hear his laughter. No more ski trips. No more wrestling matches. No more…..

That was the worst time of our lives. It has been very hard adjusting to life without Jesse. He was so full of love and life. I thank God each day for giving us two great kids, even if our life with Jesse was short, it was the best part of mine. A short time after his accident, I had a poster made up for the kids at the high school and for local businesses. It was also a slide on the screen at all of the local theaters prior to movies. I just want to hopefully prevent any other teen from going through what Jess did—and any other family from having to learn to live life without their loved one.

Words cannot express how much anxiety a parent goes through when their only other child, is now of driving age. The fear that it could happen once again is overwhelming. Last year, I happened to come across a Highway Survival defensive driving video called “Drive to Live’. It covers accident avoidance and many other life saving techniques—that should be taught in Driver’s Ed. After purchasing the video for my daughter and her friends to watch, I contacted the producer of the video, Howard Halterman. I thanked him for making this available—and told him about what happened to Jesse, and my paranoia of Shannon learning to drive. I asked him if he would come up to Selah High to talk to the kids at the high school. He agreed to fly up, and together that first initial week, we spoke with 12 high school assemblies and Driver’s Ed classes. His message is profound—and he really connects with the kids, they listen and ask questions. The past 2 school years we have reached out to many classrooms in the county/state, with positive results. There have been so many cut backs in driver’s education. These kids are being licensed after minimal training. I have never heard of anyone being killed from parallel parking. But, that seems to be the hardest thing on the test. Unfortunately, not all kids live long enough to get the much-needed experience.

After we lost Jesse, I wanted to put a protective shield around the rest of my family. The paralyzing fear of harm to my daughter or another loved one was overwhelming. Shannon had a right to grow up and have a happy, healthy life--no matter what she has had to live through and come to terms with. The day Shannon went in to get her driver’s license, she returned home after going to Dairy Queen with her tennis team, to find that her classmate, in the same hour that she got her driver’s license, had crashed in the same exact spot where Jesse’s accident happened. They were in the same type of accident, suffering massive head injuries. Both of these young men lost their life at the age of just sixteen. Our families, high school kids, and community were going through this all over again. The week after her classmate’s funeral, we drove down to California and took the class Howard teaches. It should be mandatory that each teen be provided that life saving driver training.

I miss my son every moment of every day. But we choose to celebrate his life. If he were here now, we’d be doing things together. Through his memory, he is still touching, possibly saving thousands of people---even if they didn’t know him personally. He is the friend, son, brother, nephew, uncle---much like their own. We will be together again one day. In my mind is where I keep his happy, grinning face and his big, caring heart

Make sure to let your loved ones know how much they mean to you.
Life sometimes can be too short..